Traveling

Hitting the road is always a little nerve wracking for me. The longer I sit in one spot the harder it is to relax when it comes time to move again. Somehow it gets into my head that something is going to break down on me or that the road will be too dangerous for me to drive on. I don't know where the feelings come from, but they happen every time to some degree or another. They subside at some number of miles down the road. After watching in the rear view mirror and being aware of every little odd noise for some period of time I start to relax again. Even if something were to happen I feel confident that I could handle whatever it was, but it's the anticipation of some unknown event that prevents me from just enjoying the scenery from the very beginning.

I have a similar feeling about the future. I know that our civilization will have to move again in some other direction. Find a future home and settle down in a more sustainable way. I know that it's inevitable and needs to happen for the benefit of everything living on this planet, but I still spend all of my time focusing on the little things that might foretell what event or circumstance will cause us to all have to move quickly and solve whatever problems may come up. I still worry about where I will be and if I will be prepared for it instead of enjoying the current situation.

So moving from time to time reminds me that we can move. That we are not stuck in one place and unable to adapt. Challenging myself to think about everything differently and working outside of the normal work, debt and class roles helps me to keep moving and accept change as a part of everyday life instead of allowing a never ending routine to lull me into a sense of permanence. There is no way that we can all continue to live as we have been for the past few hundred years. It has been a roller coaster ride, a fun house, a wild adventure for some. Most of us have just worked and forgotten how to have a real and meaningful life. I am doing my best to unlearn the lessons taught by a society driven to distraction and to embrace change and natural cycles as part of my re-education. It's a hard lesson to pay attention to when you are surrounded by people that all think that this is some kind of amusement park.

Time to move again...